The Choices We Make
by Nadreth
Summary: I sincerely believe it is a choice that everyone makes in their lives, everything leads up to it, and then that choice dictates who you are and what you do for the rest of your life. Robin Is Still Slades Apprentice. TwoChapter OneShot. Very Dark.
1. Robin

**The Choices We Make  
**_By, Tarawen_

* * *

I write this because I was told to – I do this however not because of the prison warden who demanded it of me – but rather I write it because It occurs to me that there is no record of how I reached this point – sitting in a prison cell waiting for my Master to come and get me. 

My name is Robin, and I am a villain, a super villain I suppose – yes a super villain, a criminal, an evil that haunts that little child's sleep. Once I was a hero – loved by the people, stern and unyielding – but then I met Slade. I became his apprentice in order to save my "friends" from death. However my true fall into the darkness starts some time after my apprenticeship to Slade.

I dropped to the floor – it was a small building, just small enough that Slade had noted it as a place for something valuable. Yet another item that my Master wanted, sometimes I wasn't sure if he actually wanted the items or if he was simply testing me. As far as I could tell he never used any of them – but then again, I was only his apprentice, so why would he tell me?

I'd been his apprentice a year now…or at least it had been around that…a year of servitude to save my "friends" from death. I had lost track of time some time before so I can't be sure it was a whole year. My "friends" still had no-idea why I had betrayed them…betrayed their trust and joined Slade. They thought I was evil…they hated me all the more because I wasn't any normal villain, I had been their friend, I knew them inside and out – and I was the only villain as of yet to beat them day after day.

It was nights like that one when I yearned for the guards to see me, to catch me so that I could take out some of the anger. The horrible anger that made me exactly like the Master who I hated beyond everyone - except perhaps the Joker, because I will never hate anyone more than I do that pasty circus freak. Perhaps it was on that night, or maybe before then when a small part of me admitted to enjoying this…enjoying the darkness, the evil, the villain that I had become.

I recall that I blew the door open with a bomb – I did it as loudly as I could – I needed a good fight. Guards poured out – they had doubled security since I'd joined Slade – after the first two months of me stealing valued objects and getting away with it companies had started to take matters into their own hands – no longer trusting the Titans to save them they had hired armed men who would kill. I whirled cracking the gun out of the first mans hand using my foot – over the course of the next few seconds everything blurred for me as it often does and I allowed the heat of battle to take me. As the battle finished I found myself holding one of the guns, pointing it at the last mans head – I'd never killed before – not once.

"Kill him," Slade's voice came through the set of earphones I wore upon his command, and I obeyed without question – I pulled the trigger – I always obeyed Slade by this point – always. It was easier to not think about what he made me do – easier not to question.

But as I stared down at the blood which flooded out of the dead mans head I realized I'd lost any sense of self-control, when Slade didn't command I was vicious reacting purely on instinct, and when he did command something I was worse. "I killed him," my voice had sounded like a rasp.

"Good Robin, now – get the chip." Slade's slick voice filled my head and I moved to obey all the time thinking over and over again, _I killed him_.

Picking up the chip I began to walk from the small room, _I killed him_, it was cold that night as I recall – cold and dark – I felt like I was back in Gotham again – the City of the Hopeless…_I killed him_, I began to run, hurry back to my Master – _I killed him_, as I ran I felt as though I was being watched, _I killed him and I liked it_.

A dark shape dropped in front of me and for a moment I couldn't even see who it was I was so caught up in my thoughts _– I killed him and I enjoyed it, the blood, the pain on his face, the surge of power it gave me to know I controlled his very life_.

Then my sight cleared I was focused again, I would deal with this later – I looked forward prepared to fight again only to spiral back into confusion – Batman stood in front of me – his face was grim and as cold as the streets seemed. "Robin."

With one word Batman seemed to have rendered my brain useless, I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I was lost – and then the orders came and everything was very clear, "Attack him."

I was evil – he was good. I belonged to Slade, I had sold my soul to the evil – he was still committed to good even though he'd been through so much. Everything was very clear.

I did as my Master said – I attacked, and I attacked more vicious than I had ever done before – but this time my body wasn't the only thing moving, my brain was functioning with more clarity than I had thought was possible. Indeed…I attacked, body and mind.

We exchanged blows he and I for a time, and then he began to talk, "the Robin I knew would never have joined this…Slade." The dark crusader observed as he swung a fist which I ducked. "Where is Robin, what have you done with him."

"I am Robin," a grin twisted my face at this point and I suspect I looked absolutely mad – "I'm that little boy you saved so long ago Batman," I struck him hard in the head with one metal shod boot.

"No your not, not unless something went very wrong," the dark man pulled himself back up staring me full in the face.

I grinned again, "Oh…something went wrong, something went horribly wrong," I admitted this to the older man I'd once considered a mentor "So tell me, now that I'm a killer – what do you think of your little boy?"

"Killed?" Batman halted – he clearly had thought his little psychiatry tricks would turn me back to his side.

"Oh yes…he told me to – my Master – you do know who my Master is don't you?" I walked closer to the man and he backed away in shock and dismay – and I knew then that I had fallen just far enough that I could never be saved, "His name is Slade – he told me too – and so I killed the man."

"The Titans never said…"

"They don't know yet," a dark look crossed my face, "They never seem to know," looking up again I began to laugh, "And so I did it, I shot a man in the head." My laugh reached an almost high pitched level – it was more than amusement I knew – although Batman probably didn't – it was all of my pain – all of my hate – all of the empty nights I'd spent – all of it released in one horrible laugh.

He just stared at me; like I was mad – I probably am – I think you have to be at least a little insane to be a super villain. Then I ran I jumped past him slamming him in the head one last time with my boot and running away – and he just stood there, like his world had been shattered into a million pieces.

When I got back to my Masters lair he just stood there and smiled at me for a few moments until standing and walking down from his chair, "You see Robin – we are the same."

He was right we are – we are exactly the same – I suppose he was always right. I remember the moment of emptiness as I stood there, I held out the chip to him like I had held out so many other items he'd wanted. He accepted the item and then as his hand brushed mine, I broke down right there sobbing into the metal floor, and he just watched in that same uncaring way he always watched me. That was the day I gave myself to the dark eternally and forever – because you see there is no escaping true darkness once you've accepted it, no escaping that it is you just as you are the darkness.

It must have been only month after that when I killed again, Joker – my Master gave me Joker, a token he told me, a gift for my – obedience – but I knew it was because I had joined him in the dark – and even as I knew I didn't care.

The Joker – now that was a…interesting day, he stood there and as he did all my anger came raging forward and I cracked my fist into his stomach. Strange that all I did was knock the wind out of him – now that I think back I wonder why I didn't torture him, but I suppose that torture wouldn't have brought my parents or released my soul from the all encompassing dark – so I guess it doesn't matter.

And I killed him – oh he begged – offered me any number of things – offered me everything, and then I stabbed him – right in the gut where I'd hit him only minutes earlier. Then I watched him die, he talked a lot as he died, but I remember only one of the things he said that night. "Maybe I kill, and maybe I steal – but I never did it like you do Robin…you were born in the dark – weren't you?"

Perhaps I was, maybe I was destined to be evil – but I don't think so – it was just a choice I made. I sincerely believe it is a choice that everyone makes in their lives, everything leads up to it, and then that choice dictates who you are and what you do for the rest of your life.

The next few months were filled with dark things, horrible things – but what I got caught at and put in here…I think that was the worst.

It was a family – just like mine, my Master wanted the fathers money – he owed Slade a large sum I recall…he wouldn't give it to me – he refused and so Slade told me to take it in skin…the man said he didn't care if he died. But my master didn't mean him. I killed his wife and his child – I killed them right in front of the man – he had been tied to a chair at the time. I barely remember the wife even though it was only days ago – but the child – I remember the child.

We all make choices in life…I made the ultimate one – and I am a slave to the darkness for the rest of my life.

_This is the account of prisoner 35628 – the prisoner was broken out of prison shortly after finishing this account. This account has been released to only specific individuals – his former allies the Teen Titans and certain select members of the government.

* * *

_

As Slade put the written account down on the table infront of himself – Robin really was – just like him – he knew the drama would end soon and his apprentice would just accept his enjoyment in pain as a normal thing, even a good thing. He would forget all about the darkness until he grew to be an older man – getting on in his years – and then he would find his own apprentice – and introduce that young man or woman to the darkness.

* * *

_**A/N:** That's my one-shot about Robin if he had stayed Slades apprentice - I know I'm complete geek - I'm writing about a Cartoon - but something about those two apprentice episodes really spoke to me, and ever since I saw them I knew I would have to write this. So here it is. Please R&R._


	2. And Rain

Changeling peered in the mirror, and smiled at the green face in front of him. Maybe he was officially fifty-six, and sure he was getting close to sixty as Cyborg was apt to remind him. But he was still as handsome as he'd been during the days he'd called himself Beast Boy.

He smiled at the thought – Teen Titans…he remembered those days – happy days, or at least they had been.

Robin – thinking of the brave teen was always painful, he'd betrayed them – and then when they finally did catch him, he escaped days later, and was never seen again.

Changeling shook his head, he was only thinking of Robin because of what had happened only a day ago. Slade – didn't the man ever die? Apparently not because he had revealed himself only days ago, stealing away a young teen – a boy who was only known as Rain. The boy apparently had amazing fighting skills, his blows falling as quickly as the rain he was named for.

* * *

I frowned down at the boy, he was becoming frustrating, he was prone to bouts of anger, and he almost never listened to my words. He reminded me of another teen, Robin. The only difference was that this boy's hair was a shock of white, and his skin a tone darker than Robins had been. Perhaps the face was different – but I couldn't tell anymore.

I bent and lifted the boy by the front of his clothing – "Ah Rain, you really are so much like me," I said remembering how much that had goaded…Robin.

"You…you're crazy, I'm nothing like you!" He kicked trying to gain freedom and I caught his foot with my other hand and tossed him to the ground.

I laughed, it was hard not to, the look on the boys face was so bewildered even when he was angry, "Nothing?" I asked in the most mocking tone I could manage, "Oh I think you'll find you are quite a bit like myself."

It was then that he slumped on the floor, like some demented form of Jell-O he simply flopped over, "Fine," he said sullenly, "I'll get your stupid chip – just give it a rest already…"

I almost rolled my eyes but I caught myself before I could, standing I strode across to my chair and sat down – so much like me…and so much like Robin.

* * *

The boy, Rain – he continued that way for quite some time, a few years in fact. That was when the Titan's found me, not him – just me.

It wasn't the new titan's either – it was the old ones – Robin's ex-partners…perhaps they felt honor bound at this point to find…Slade.

We fought, I fought – they could not beat me though – instead we fought an endless battle.

"Who are you?" Raven suddenly asked halting in the middle of the battle frowning at myself, her stark purple eyes were the same as I remembered them so long ago – the only difference being the tightening and lining of the skin around them.

I smiled beneath my mask, "You already know, you just have to search for the answer Raven," my mechanical voice hissed.

Her eyes widened and I had the time to strike a sharp blow to her head, one down – three to go, and they were in my world – my place, they would not escape it this time.

* * *

Rain frowned at me; his frown was not so severe as when I'd first brought him here. It was more of a puzzled frown now, he stared up at me, "Who are you?" he finally asked after several minutes of staring.

I frowned and then finally after another space of endless silent time, I spoke – "Someday, I will tell you."

He nodded accepting the explanation a blank look on his face revealing nothing to me. "You killed the titans Master," it was a statement not a question.

I nodded anyway, "the old titans are all dead – all five of them."

"Five?" the boy questioned, "There were only four…"

I shook my head with a tint of distain, was Robin forgotten already?

"Five…" the boy repeated curiosity growing on his face.

"Yes boy, Five – there was Raven, Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Robin," I paused in my speech, "I killed them all." _For the most part. _The last bit went unspoken.

Rain stood there, his eyes were filled with emotion now, confusion, loss, and a tinge of madness. He slid onto his knees and dropped the small chip to the ground; it clattered across the floor and rested at my feet.

"Bring it to me," I spoke in a cold tone.

Disjointedly he came to his feet and stumbled across the floor, falling twice in the process of trying to reach the chip. He fell to his knees again upon reaching it – picking it up with the mechanical motion of someone who isn't really aware of what they are doing.

Holding it up to me I took it from his hand and studied it – the boy had fallen to his knees again – his eyes becoming wilder by the second.

A howl of misery escaped the boy's mouth, but more importantly it was a last howl, the howl of a man who knows he has given in.

_My name is Robin, and I am a villain._

The boy on the ground shuddered and collapsed demented Jell-O on my floor once again.

"Kill him," Slade's voice came through the set of earphones. 

"Kill her," I'd told the boy, and he'd done it – put his hand right through the woman's eye and into her brain.

The boy moaned softly, the tail end of his howl.

_I killed him._

"I killed her," the boy whispered.

_He accepted the item and then as his hand brushed mine, I broke down right there sobbing into the metal floor, and he just watched in that same uncaring way he always watched me._

The boy stared up at me as if expecting a reaction but I said nothing, merely watched – observed – it was interesting how similar and yet how different the boy was.

"I killed her," he said it louder now more steady – as if he were understanding it finally.

"I'm aware," I spoke in a cold tone as if I had no idea, and further – no care about what went on below the boy's gray eyes.

_That was the day I gave myself to the dark eternally and forever – because you see there is no escaping true darkness once you've accepted it, no escaping that it is you just as you are the darkness._

The boy shuddered again, would he never cease with that? It seemed as if he'd been shuddering there on my floor for hours rather than a few minutes.

"_You see Robin – we are the same."_

"We are the same, you see it now – don't you Rain."

The boy slumped on the ground again and nodded, not miserable though – just understanding.

Nothing but understanding now – the boy had been torn clean – and understanding was what was left.

* * *

Rain continued down his path, the same path I was on, the path that I had set him on, it was nearly time – but one last thing left to do before I could finally bow out on the final act.

Turning I walked down the metallic halls – reaching a sealed room I pressed my hand to the pad and the door slid open with a hiss.

Stepping into the room I walked down the room until reaching the metal box, finally I could do this.

Gas slid out of the box as I opened it, perfect – still coated in ice – I smiled for the last time beneath my mask and defrosted the being in the box.

Batman gasped as he breathed air for the first time in thirty six years.

I waited until he could see again, "Where…where am I."

"A…cave of a sort," I stood.

"Cave?" the Man shuddered, confusion clear on his face.

_Then I ran I jumped past him slamming him in the head one last time with my boot and running away – and he just stood there, like his world had been shattered into a million pieces._

"Yes, a cave – do you remember me?"

"Slade," The name hissed from him – then he halted peering up at me, "Or not…"

"I thought you might remember," I was disappointed I admit, Raven knew, but not this man…well perhaps we were disconnected now.

"Robin," the word grated against my ears – against my very mind, "Robin."

"Thank you," I murmured words I hadn't spoken or even heard in years.

A sad look filled the mans face, heartache.

_He just stared at me; like I was mad._

The sad eyes, the seemed to fill everything around me, and for a brief and flickering moment I wasn't Slade, I was Robin – plain old Robin…and then it passed.

"Goodbye," I whispered finally.

The man looked at me for a long time then – a good long time, and then finally face hardening into a mask as impenetrable as my own – he spoke, "So it would seem."

Then…the man died.

* * *

I never did tell the boy, who I had been once, that I had been the long dead Robin. No, I never was going to tell him in the first place, I just left one day – left the outfit that was Slade sitting there in that chair, and I walked away.

I walked, simply an old nameless man in black long robes. It was a long time before I found it – and then I sat, I sat down in the middle of the dark trees, and I died there.

* * *

_**A/N:** I wrote this because first of all the idea for this was always in the back of my mind, and second I believe there was a request for the continuation of the story. I believe that this finishes it off rather nicely. Thank you to my reviewers and to whomever else does review this. That is all, that's the end folks._

_- I'd also like to thank A.F.I. because the music of their CD DecemberUnderground was very inspirational for this second chapter._


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